Thursday, June 25, 2009

sounds so beautiful!

Michael Jackson Passes away.

This was so shocking and sad for me to hear. I pray his soul has peace with God. He was sensational. Rest in peace.

I wrote more at my blog:

http://breelavie.today.com/2009/06/25/memory-of-the-king-of-pop-michael-jackson-passes-away/

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Ready to settle down...

I feel more and more each day ready to start up whatever life i have left. Much has changed since I had left high school. I feel as if I am really getting old. I never really thought I was until now when I see people starting families, dying, getting married. Now, I am contemplating the same things. I am ready to share my life with the guy I love. I am not saying marriage yet,but I am getting feelings to make a life with him. This life includes possibly moving in with him in a year or two. It sounds even more appealing when I think of my share of rent with my roomies and seeing that I can pay the same,maybe less, living in a place with him. It would be our home. It is a nice feeling to think about,but it's just a thought. I kinda believe he is starting to think so as well from telling me he liked the paint job in my apt 3 times so far. Asking about my rent share. Saying hmmmm,really when I said i would be living here for 2yrs(my expected graduation).

I feel even when we argue that he is the one I want to spend my days here on earth until I see what's after this and hopefully once again see my brother someday.


I missed him much today. I was just thinking all day. What a life.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I don't know why




i felt like singing during my lunch break today! Enjoy!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Thoughts from the past:

So I was skimming old facebook messages, and some of the things I say to people made me think of what's the same and different with me since a year ago. I'd like to share my words.

I was talking about my major to someone and how I want to head to the middle east:
"
for example, the subsahara holds the lives of many people of diverse backgrounds, culture and religions. However, these small groups of corrupt power hold the lives of millions of people. they rather invest in greed and evil then building up a stable economy and tryin to get people to work together,but since history between the countries are filled with mistrust and betrayal the countries don't work together to be educated or a powerful force in the world. and the disputes the world has about things are just so pointless- if you knew the laws and things people fight over you might think it's the dumbest crap that causes the world to be so messed up right now.

I don't know...i just look at life and dissect matters- and make my opinion of it. i have made conclusions on things:
1. money doesn't make happiness,but it keeps you socially comfortable.
2. if everyone were more blunt about things the world would be a better place. disguising the truth just causes problems later. more than with the truth coming out before hand.
3.life is a constant cycle,and a cycle is never ending. which, i know this sounds morbid,but, there's not a real reason to fear death. i'm not going to lie- i fear the pain that comes before death,but not the actual matter of death. i mean, if i go somewhere else...that would be cool, perhaps,but if there was no longer an individual me- i still exist,just in a difference sense. the body is an energy source, just a part of the universe. i think if i ever get to a point of existence where i stop being individually selfish- that's having real peace and i believe grasping the idea of existing and yet not existing is something hard to grasp.

like did you know most things in the universe-this world have a mathematical beauty to them. and supposedly even in chaos there remains order...or it's a theory that there is some universal order to everything. I believe in it.

i don't know- life if crafted or just a random motion of event- is beautiful. and the idea of not knowing if it is or is not a beautiful and intricate mistake makes it even more beautiful.

like we only us but a lil percentage of our brain potential but there's so much more the brain has potential to do. and even with this small amount we use of the brain is amazing and beautiful at what it does. everything is used for a reason, even the slightest hair follicle."


saying my plans for the yr. Some happened and others did not! I did get my apt with four people( strangers rather than friends). I passed spanish but not with flying colors. My brother passed away,but maybe the world has a way to twist things where we all will be happy and together again, someway, somehow.

"i have to get it done,so no biggie with that. i leave next sat to my apartment. and 19th i have to get my class schedule and books. then a few days after school starts.so, my roommate and I will explore i guess because we're new to d.c for the most part.

yeah, i guess it's cool to look back. most of the time typos and grammar mistakes i notice the most haha.

yeah, i regretted deleting my journal when i realized i use to use privacy entries to save things as a backup for my computer files. but oh well.

well,it's cool to start over. well since it was scary it's a good thing you deleted it.

but yeah, it's true...can't change the past so might as well look at the present and future. i think that's why i find moving away possibly a good thing for me. not to run away from troubles...but try to do something different,perhaps better.

Briana Palabon- Booker
August 6 at 5:03pm
I assume like any major city- fast pace, homeless people, grumpy people, then a few nice people in between. I mean the first time i ever went to d.c there was this cool homeless guy my friends and I saw all the time. he could sing really well and we were like you should go on the apollo or something,ha. but yeah, my friend chrissy was giving him money and i was like stop. we gave him food but he didn't want it so obviously he wasn't doing anything useful with it. But i never saw that many homeless before going there. But where i'll be living is like md,but still d.c area,but too far from baltimore to visit casually. i figure after this yr lease is done to get a place with 4 friends more in inner d.c,but i'm not complaining.

as for homeless people in md, they hold funny signs like "I'm not going to lie-All i want is a beer." then it's like the weird one's that like try to scare you at red lights when it's late at night. But then aren't on every corner and stuff.

md just has crabs, beer, deers, boats and random people,ha. and the way baltimore is set up is that really wealthy people live on the habor then it's like low income. then i guess middle class. then the surrounding counties are middle class to high upperclass,but i give it 10 yrs tops that the city is going move really wealthy people back in the city instead of commuting from the suburbs to the city all day, it's going to make it very convienent just like d.c has made it for the really affulent people to have the metro at their grasp and still live comfortable.

actually, i just figure i could make some money while i am young, if i use my head and network with the right people. and it sounded like a good time to get situated down there while still in school-so it's a leap of faith. i figure if the outcome was worth it eventually."


weird how life works....weirder is prob how death works. If life is a bitch, i don't even want to think what's death's name.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

My new Blog

I'm officially a today blogger...please read my articles! It will be on entertainment ranging from books, events, shows, dc , Baltimore and beyond! Enjoy!


http://breelavie.today.com/


p.s- I will be still blogging here on my personal life. :-)

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Sweet Revenge By Briana Booker

(drum beat)

what is there to do?
your lies have caught up with you
Now it's your turn to burn
to suffer, there's no return
(guitar and drum combo)

Take your empty words, I won't be like your other fools,
It's time for something new, now you'll be the fool.

(guitar and drum combbo)

First it was love, now it's time for war,
No more disillusions for me,
you've made me who I am to be,

Hiroshima on your ass,
this is our reality now,
the poisons in my soul, now it's time to satisfy my soul

(drums)

Bridge

You, you must be confused
To do the things you do,
to take a woman like me for grated
to be a blind,deaf, dumb fool for you,

You're always looking to satisfy your pleasure,
Your games have finally caught up to you,
Oh, look in the mirror, your body's coming ill,
you're too shallow to see
that you'll always be an asshole,
that's all you'll ever be.

So swallow your pills, don't stop to think now.

Are you having a good time baby?
But don't worry it won't last,
You're moving too fast,
Your mind is filled up with fear,
whose after you next?

For now just enjoy yourself
Don't stay bottled up,
You seem to need some help,
I'll help you end it all...

Now you know the pain,it's creeping from underneath,
I see no more beauty in your eyes, this is my reality.
Let me help push you to the end,
stick the needle in,
seep the poison through your veins,
now it's time for you to feel the pain

The scars are already on my skin,
Caused by only you.

I lost all my love for you,you have fallen from my grace,
now all I have for you, is only sweet revenge.

Feel the craving in your soul, revenge's hand never gets old,
It's too late for us to return, you still haven't learned!

This is the price payed for revenge, now it's us whom burn.


( and they say when you seek revenge, dig two graves....)

Monday, June 8, 2009

I sing when I'm bored

Here are songs i felt like singing after a long day at work. Hope you enjoy them!-BB






Sunday, June 7, 2009

Life is but a dream.



Yesterday was my little brother's graduation/my cousin Chrissy's graduation. What a beautiful day! I know my older brother would be so proud. I slept that night and thought he talked to me. He seemed happy JB got through school. It makes me believe life is but a dream and once I wake up from that dream, I'll be with him once again.

Sitting back, I can only appreciate the beauty of life and earth. Life is funny. I will never figure it out.If I had no tomorrow,If this was my last day, I could not say that this place was not beautiful. If heaven doesn't exist, I still couldn't complain. The gift of life itself is amazing. I have seen so many things. I have felt so many things dear to my heart. I am glad I have seen such a beautiful place, with all its flaws and perfections. God is good.

I know my family will always be with me. All my family.

I am glad that I have met so many beautiful and thought provoking people in my life. I don't think they know how much I really love them.

All that day I thought of them starting their lives. All that day I thought of Anthony.

I can't look back but I can look forward and appreciate what I see, feel, taste and just live. What do I have to lose if life is but a dream?

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Self-love by Briana Booker

Starin in Briana's eyes,
I contemplate how deep is this love I have you.

It wasn't there before,
and from the start you know I tried,but I only saw tears in your eyes,

rejection turn to love,
stranger turn to best friend,
I saw more in you than ever before,

I know you might think it's strange,but
I'm falling in love with you more and more everyday.

And maybe it's all in my mind,
but every scar and every flaw,
I can finally embrace.

And maybe it's all in my mind
But I'm under your spell,
I can't get enough,
I just fell...

chorus

I just fell for you,
In you I see all my dreams
Don't want nobody but you.
Don't want to be nobody but you.
(I just fell, hey)
I just fell
I just fell in love with you.

You're not too skinny,
You're not too big.
You know how to work what you've got.
You're one of the best gifts I've ever got from God.

You don't need nobody to hold your hand.
You don't need nobody to tell you whom to love.
You walk your own way.

I touch your lips, so you'll hear what I say,
allow me to explain
why I'll never lie again about our love affair.

I'm tried of fighting these feelings,
you're more than enough.
you're my amor,
I just can't get enough.

Your legs are finally sturdy.
You're graceful in my eyes.
You're beautiful in every shape and form.

I took you for granted once before,
but I'll never go astray again,
baby I'm here to stay in love with you.

We're coming so closely together,
I'm reaching out to taste you,
I just fell, I just fell...

in love with you.

chorus

I just fell for you,
In you I see all my dreams
Don't want nobody but you.
Don't want to be nobody but you.
(I just fell, hey)
I just fell
I just fell in love with you.

instrumental...


i just fell.

Living in the name of love( memory of Anthony).

dreamin of all the memories,
there's no where I'd rather be than with you,
oh brother, i miss you.

i remember when we were young,
you always came to rescue me
from all my fears.
oh, brother, i thank you.


I miss you everyday I open my eyes to the,
to the sun.
Prayin that one day again, I'll be with you.

So now,I've learn from missing you to...

chorus
live in, in the name of love, oh brother,
so i'm giving and living in the name of love.
Oh darlin.

no matter what I do,
I'll never forget about you.

No matter how long I may live,
I'll never forget the scent of your hair,
your smile that brighten all my days,
I'll never forget your sacrifices,
I'll never forget the love you shared.
Or the music that you played.
I'll always be with you, oh brother.

I dream about you everyday,
see you in my dreams when I pray,
I miss you, you know I do, oh brother.

So I'm....

chorus
livin in, in the name of love, oh brother,
so i'm giving and living in the name of love.
Oh darlin.2x

Real love by Briana Booker

I never knew that, we could be that.
A love that could last,last forever.


I use to worry we could never be that.
That love that could last,last a lifetime.


We've crossed seas that I could never,
believe we could ever get through.

We've out last famines.
We've out last the storm.

who would've thought that we could ever be that.


chorus

sometimes love,
real love,
can find it's way
to your heart,
and break those walls down,
that were build by a broken heart.


who would've thought that you could be that,
that man down for me for whatever.

could've ever guess i was the one for you.
leave your games and fall in love?

I never knew we could be real.
I would've never knew, not even after 100 years.

I gave up on finding love,
but you rose up like the sun,
and embraced my flaws.

and you still loved,
through it all, and found real love after all.



chorus

sometimes love,
real love,
can find it's way
to your heart,
and break those walls down,
that were build by a broken heart.

real love, thank you.
thank you for mending my heart.
love, real love, it can come out
through it alll.



chorus

sometimes love,
real love,
can find it's way
to your heart,
and break those walls down,
that were build by a broken heart.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Dear Mr.Jazz Smooth( the first flight)

Dear mr. jazz smooth,
play me a jam,
a jam that will make me spread my wings for you.

do anything to me, bring me to ecstasy,
make me whine like a guitar,
teach me true bliss,
(come taste my kiss).

you are the one who can teach me the way to move
Make tears come to my eyes,
make my flower bloom.

I do not cry out of pain but true delight.


Please don't be mad,because if you had more common sense,
I would've have never came across true bliss.


oooooo dear mr. ecstasy
ooooo,dear mr. fantasy
ooooo, dear mr. jazz smooth.


Dear mr. jazz smooth,
play me a jam,
a jam that will make me spread my wings for you.

instrumental

dear mr. jazz smooth,
let me play out your fantasy,
i'm a fiend for you.

Don't be mad because i'm the girl next store.
I'm glad you helped me spread my wings for you.


oooooo dear mr. ecstasy
ooooo,dear mr. fantasy
ooooo, dear mr. jazz smooth.

Please don't be mad,because if you had more common sense,
I would've have never came across true bliss.

I feel pain,

I feel pleasure,

I feel everything inside.


thank you mr. fantasy,
thank you mr.radio,
thank you mr. fantasy,

thank you mr. jazz smooth....


spread...my wings...for you, you too and you.