It is human nature to hate feeling in the wrong or apologizing when we believe firmly and passionately about something. We allow our egos to get the best of our hearts! I had one of these moments recently.
The younger version of me would say fuck if [ insert person name] is mad, he or she hurt me! But the woman I am becoming is teaching me to let go of some disputes for those that matter to me and who I know care about me. I enjoy them too much as people to ruin the connections I have with these people. I want to grow a strong connection with those that bring positivity in my life, not a weaker one!
Often in the past I would treat people I knew didn't give a flying fuck about me better than those who did care. Illogical! How foolish!
Why worry about opinions that do not matter? Why appreciate people who do not give two cents about me? It was not sensible.
Loving people in my life deserve to be loved. People I know genuinely care for my well being, I was not treating them for their invaluable worth. Crazy!
The woman I am becoming is learning more and more each day to treat those who respect and treat me well with the same level of gratitude.
I recently wrote apology letters to people I care about in my life. I explained my actions and words were not based on them but negativity from my daily external world. I apologized and meant every word of it.
I can not change the past,but I can live in the present and love in the present. My ego is not that important to me to give up those things worth having- real respect, real appreciation, real kindness and real love.
I feel free being honest about how I felt and how I will change to make things better. Thank God for second chances. Thank God for enlightenment.
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