I feel as if I'm finally starting to grow up. Things have changed quite a bit physically and mentally with me. I recently cut 20 yrs of hair of my head. I'm going back to natural, and it feels good. I know it's just hair but it was kind of a physical transformation that shows I'm making my own decisions. I had my first chemical treatment to make my hair straight in the 3rd or 2nd grade. It feels nice to begin to peel off the layers of a world I wanted to fit in and see the world and person I am underneath it all.
Not only has my hair changed,but my attitude about things. I am beginning to work out again and I don't see someone lost and confused when I look in the mirror in the morning. I see no longer a girl but a young woman.
I'm searching for God. I'm searching for myself. I'm searching for peace.
I know that no one but me can stop myself now. I have everything before me, and at the sometime, nothing at all. I just want to live life until I can't live it anymore. I use to want to get life over with because I wasn't happy with outcomes.
Losing Anthony,my brother made me change my whole outlook on life. I want to strive to be the best me. I want do what I love. I want to speak my mind. I want to be Briana. It feels good to finally accept myself for me. I am beauty,even if I don't fit the norm. I am beautiful because I am me.
And this weekend I finally declared my major. International studies with a minor in Justice,formally. Now, I will bust my ass to be the best at what I love. Fighting for a purpose and opportunity! I know I have this because I'm finally trusting my creator.
Have a great weekend!
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