Thoughts from the past:

So I was skimming old facebook messages, and some of the things I say to people made me think of what's the same and different with me since a year ago. I'd like to share my words.

I was talking about my major to someone and how I want to head to the middle east:
"
for example, the subsahara holds the lives of many people of diverse backgrounds, culture and religions. However, these small groups of corrupt power hold the lives of millions of people. they rather invest in greed and evil then building up a stable economy and tryin to get people to work together,but since history between the countries are filled with mistrust and betrayal the countries don't work together to be educated or a powerful force in the world. and the disputes the world has about things are just so pointless- if you knew the laws and things people fight over you might think it's the dumbest crap that causes the world to be so messed up right now.

I don't know...i just look at life and dissect matters- and make my opinion of it. i have made conclusions on things:
1. money doesn't make happiness,but it keeps you socially comfortable.
2. if everyone were more blunt about things the world would be a better place. disguising the truth just causes problems later. more than with the truth coming out before hand.
3.life is a constant cycle,and a cycle is never ending. which, i know this sounds morbid,but, there's not a real reason to fear death. i'm not going to lie- i fear the pain that comes before death,but not the actual matter of death. i mean, if i go somewhere else...that would be cool, perhaps,but if there was no longer an individual me- i still exist,just in a difference sense. the body is an energy source, just a part of the universe. i think if i ever get to a point of existence where i stop being individually selfish- that's having real peace and i believe grasping the idea of existing and yet not existing is something hard to grasp.

like did you know most things in the universe-this world have a mathematical beauty to them. and supposedly even in chaos there remains order...or it's a theory that there is some universal order to everything. I believe in it.

i don't know- life if crafted or just a random motion of event- is beautiful. and the idea of not knowing if it is or is not a beautiful and intricate mistake makes it even more beautiful.

like we only us but a lil percentage of our brain potential but there's so much more the brain has potential to do. and even with this small amount we use of the brain is amazing and beautiful at what it does. everything is used for a reason, even the slightest hair follicle."


saying my plans for the yr. Some happened and others did not! I did get my apt with four people( strangers rather than friends). I passed spanish but not with flying colors. My brother passed away,but maybe the world has a way to twist things where we all will be happy and together again, someway, somehow.

"i have to get it done,so no biggie with that. i leave next sat to my apartment. and 19th i have to get my class schedule and books. then a few days after school starts.so, my roommate and I will explore i guess because we're new to d.c for the most part.

yeah, i guess it's cool to look back. most of the time typos and grammar mistakes i notice the most haha.

yeah, i regretted deleting my journal when i realized i use to use privacy entries to save things as a backup for my computer files. but oh well.

well,it's cool to start over. well since it was scary it's a good thing you deleted it.

but yeah, it's true...can't change the past so might as well look at the present and future. i think that's why i find moving away possibly a good thing for me. not to run away from troubles...but try to do something different,perhaps better.

Briana Palabon- Booker
August 6 at 5:03pm
I assume like any major city- fast pace, homeless people, grumpy people, then a few nice people in between. I mean the first time i ever went to d.c there was this cool homeless guy my friends and I saw all the time. he could sing really well and we were like you should go on the apollo or something,ha. but yeah, my friend chrissy was giving him money and i was like stop. we gave him food but he didn't want it so obviously he wasn't doing anything useful with it. But i never saw that many homeless before going there. But where i'll be living is like md,but still d.c area,but too far from baltimore to visit casually. i figure after this yr lease is done to get a place with 4 friends more in inner d.c,but i'm not complaining.

as for homeless people in md, they hold funny signs like "I'm not going to lie-All i want is a beer." then it's like the weird one's that like try to scare you at red lights when it's late at night. But then aren't on every corner and stuff.

md just has crabs, beer, deers, boats and random people,ha. and the way baltimore is set up is that really wealthy people live on the habor then it's like low income. then i guess middle class. then the surrounding counties are middle class to high upperclass,but i give it 10 yrs tops that the city is going move really wealthy people back in the city instead of commuting from the suburbs to the city all day, it's going to make it very convienent just like d.c has made it for the really affulent people to have the metro at their grasp and still live comfortable.

actually, i just figure i could make some money while i am young, if i use my head and network with the right people. and it sounded like a good time to get situated down there while still in school-so it's a leap of faith. i figure if the outcome was worth it eventually."


weird how life works....weirder is prob how death works. If life is a bitch, i don't even want to think what's death's name.